So… what about me? Being a parent is hard… your identity is constantly subsumed by your child’s. I’m not Christina, I’m the King of Everything’s Mom. Being a single mom is well, a different kind of hard. You have to be all things to at least one small person. Not only are you Kid’s Mom, you’re often Kid’s Dad, too. Your own self gets lost in the shuffle. I can’t remember the last time I had a proper, hot, long, relaxing shower.
I’ve been a single mother for most of my child’s life. The divorce is just the latest phase of that. My (ex)husband thought he was doing best by his family by working all the time; he wasn’t interested in nappies, story time, bedtime rituals, family dinner. I was angry, resentful, miserable. I think we all feel much better now. I know my kid’s happier and I finally get to be the woman I had destroyed to make the marriage work.
Negative emotions paralyze, and are seductive. It’s so much easier to be angry, to blame others, to crawl into a hole. I’m putting myself on a forced march to optimism. I’m not here to say nasty stuff about my ex, or lay the blame on everyone else’s doorstep but my own. I’m here to forge a blazing path to a new life, and I hope what I learn along the way will give others the hope, courage, and humor to strike out on their own, as well.
I am still firmly Pro-Dads, Pro-Family, Pro-Happiness. Sometimes, we have to make up new definitions of all these things to accommodate reality.
Welcome to SoloMother: All the responsibility. Half the time.
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