Chris Cullari is a 20 year old Boston-based blogger who dares you to say that ten times fast. He was born in Hershey, Pennsylvania, which–yes–is where they make the chocolate. He can tell you that Oompa-Loompas aren’t real, but child labor is, and wants you to know that your precious chocolate does not come from some complicated confectionery process, but instead must be mined, nugget by nugget, from the Earth. He also thinks you should be grateful that you have never had to experience the living hell that is “cocoa lung.”
When not writing bios in the third person in order to make it seem as if someone else really took the time out of their day to sit down and take notes and then transcribe them into a flattering portrait of what makes him so special, Chris is making music videos and short films, writing, researching the Loch Ness Monster, and engaging in a myriad of other activities that probably won’t help him support his parents after they retire.
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