b5media

January 30th,2006

Blogger Interview: Adelle Tilton

By Rhys Alexander

I love being part of b5, and never do I feel more like that than when I interview one of our fabulous bloggers. I think you’ll agree that our bloggers aren’t just amazing writers, but amazing people.

The lovely Adelle Tilton is the perfect example. She is one of those rare people who absolutely shine with light and goodwill, the kind of person who, after spending just a little time together, can remind you of just how many wonderful things the world contains.

Here’s to her lovely spirit and the beauty she brings to the world.

You’re in a for a treat with Adelle! (And I think she has a real money maker with that kitty-blanket idea!)

Hi Adelle! First, I want to say that to know you even a little is to be inspired…your positive attitude and love for so many things in this world just shines through on your bio page. What do you think gave you the ability to develop—and maintain—this unique view on life?

Thank you very much! Those are very kind words. I believe my attitude about life comes directly from my mother. She always finds the upswing in things. And although my teenage daughter cringes when I say, “it could be worse,” it is true. There are so many people who have such tragedies, and we need to reach out to them rather than muck about in our own problems. Maybe I am an “Annie” person because I always believe that tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow is our hope. Tomorrow is the reason we can smile because life is full of second chances. But I don’t think I am all that unique. There are many that are just as positive, or much more so than me, about life. It is just that the “negative crowd” tends to be a bit louder and therefore we aren’t heard as well. But I have also found that if you whisper, people have to stop talking to hear you. So I’ll continue to whisper and doing what I do. But I can thank my mom for that one. She led the way; I am a mere apprentice.

And your name…I love it! I’m a southern girl, and I have a soft spot for anything southern…which at least in my family, the name ‘Adelle’ is. Are you Southern? Can you tell us the story of how you got your name?

The name Adelle is Teutonic. I hated it when I was young but now, I love it. I have met few women with my name, and we always act the same… as though we have a copyright on the name! :) But I’m not Southern, never even been to the South, although my husband had a definite Southern accent. It is a family name in that my mother and one of my daughters has the name Adelle as well, although I am the only one who has it as a first name.

What do you write for b5, and what are your other projects?

Well, let’s see. I do Daily Jots and Hankering for Yarn, which you have mentioned. I also am doing Flu Patrol, which is a news update on the influenza problems that may or may not be coming up - trying to sort out facts from fiction and reduce the F.O.F. (Freak Out Factor) The Widows Quest will be opening soon and that is a blog that is very close to my heart. I was widowed 4 years ago at a young age. I struggled horribly with that and still do in many ways. I hope to show other women that if you have been widowed, you can create a new life. It won’t be the same life, and it won’t be what you had originally hoped for, but you can reinvent yourself and find a reason to get up everyday.

I recently left About.com, Inc., and McGraw Hill Higher Education to pursue my other projects. I believe things come, and go, in their proper time, and this is where I am supposed to be now. Good thing, since I’m here, huh?

My other projects consist of a Catholic Web site that is still “in the works,” and working on a book, or two or three. I have outlines and ideas, but need more time. :) I believe they will happen at the right time - whenever it is that they are supposed to be written, they will be.

I’m so excited there’s *finally* a knitting blog here. What was your favorite thing you ever knitted or crocheted? What was the ugliest? :)

The ugliest? LOL Let’s get that out of the way. Probably my very first project when I was in 5th grade or so. It was a dog sweater for my brown poodle. I remember the color vividly - lime green. Screaming, shocking lime green with brown buttons. It was pretty ugly but my pal looked great in it (at least as far as she was concerned!).

As far as favorites, that’s easy. Whatever I am knitting at the moment. I love to knit. I also enjoy crochet but I found knitting to be more versatile. There is a fine line between handmade and homemade and knit lends itself better to handmade in my opinion, although both are of great value. I love knitting socks, sweaters, scarves, mittens… anything pretty much. I do have plans on the “drawing board,” for my own line of teddy bears that would be knitted with knitted clothing. I want to do some freeform knitting as well someday. I am currently teaching my daughter how to knit and we are doing the bit with knitting without a pattern. Just sit down and knit and make your sweater or socks, or whatever. She is learning to knit without constraints which I believe frees up your mind. She really is much more of a risk-taker than I am!

What thrills me is that knitting isn’t a “grandma” craft. I am so encouraged to see the young generation, like yourself, learning the skill. The innovations that young designers are coming up with are fantastic. I love the freshness and excitement that they have brought into the craft. The talent of these young people is wonderful and I am excited to see how they are progressing in ten years. It isn’t an instant gratification hobby, and I think it teaches much to younger knitters about patience and persistence. I hope I can be a small part of that just by helping out where I can as they learn and experiment with new projects.

As a mom of two three beautiful children, did you find motherhood to be different than you expected it to be? What is the best thing about being a mother? What is the hardest thing?

Motherhood is the most difficult job that a person can have. I mean, you are raising up another human being for their life and their future! You have hopes and dreams and sometimes those don’t pan out the way you had hoped. Then kids make their own dreams and they are better ones than you expected or could have created.

It is very difficult when you have a disabled child, particularly a severely disabled one, as I do. My youngest is challenged heavily by severe autism, auditory processing disorder, epilepsy, migraines, a bit of Tourette’s and hypertension - seems a little unfair for someone 14. I guess that would be the hardest thing. Watching the struggles he has are heartbreaking - a day doesn’t go by I don’t think about, and worry about, his future. The best things are easy - watching kids learn, grow, find themselves, create their niche in the world.

I am kind of an unusual parent in that I really prefer the teenage years. I like it when they start to ask the hard questions. I like the arguments (well, to an extent) because that is practice for thinking on your own. I demand respect in those debates, and I get it, but I want to hear what they are thinking. I want them to challenge me in what I tell them so I can give answers that will help them develop into productive and happy people.

But more than anything, I love their individuality. Even when they don’t love themselves or even like themselves, I sure love them. And I think the best thing you can say about your kids is that you like them. Love? That’s easy. Liking them is way cool!

Homeschooling is a big issue now, with more and more parents considering it. Would you recommend other parents give it a try? What is your primary reason for choosing homeschooling over a ‘traditional’ school?

I had a variety of reasons. I am not satisfied with the level of education that I am seeing coming out of the public schools. I am the product of a private prep Christian High School and I see things I did as a junior and senior in high school being presented in college! I think that we lowered the bar so much that kids are the victims of undereducation. So I turned to homeschooling through a Catholic organization that sends the curriculum - it was an adjustment for my high schooler as she had to catch up to that level but now she is doing great.

I also have a peculiarity in that I don’t care if she knows what island Napoleon was exiled to, but she better be able to recite The Apostle’s Creed at a moment’s notice. I think, in education, that if you do not have the standard of what you believe as central to your education, all the “smarts” in the world are worth nothing.

Do I recommend it? Well, yes and no. It is a lot of hard work. It takes as much commitment on the parent’s part as the student must make. You have to discipline the schedule and be willing to sacrifice your own time to achieve the goals your child has. But you have the benefit of working the hours that are best for your family, making adjustments as appropriate to your own student, and stopping as long as you need to if a particular concept is not “sinking in.” The absence of peer pressure is wonderful - it is a real thrill to watch your child bloom into their own person without the input of a bunch of kids that might be an influence you can do without. Homeschooling is not for everyone, but it was definitely the best option for this house.

It’s so wonderful that you’re an animal lover! When did you start your cat sanctuary? How many kitties are there now, and are any of them particularly mischievous?

Oh my gosh Rhys, I have lived with animals piled all over my bed every night or in cages, or in somewhere in my room all of my life. I think that would probably be, if we can chalk this up to genetics, because of my maternal grandfather. He also loved animals; enough that he once stopped a train in the middle of its route, to milk a cow that had gotten herself hooked to a fence and was obviously quite uncomfortable. He had seen it there that morning and on his way home, she was still there. He made them stop the train, got out, milked her and set her free to return home. He them reboarded the train and they went on their way. A better world, huh?

Anyway, I have to be verbose here because animals are my passion. I have had dogs, cats, reptiles (I had a HUGE collection but had to sell it because of what it did to my power bill!!), guinea pigs (raised them for show and selling - every guinea pig in the northwest is related to my piggies), parrots, aquariums… no large livestock *grin*.

So going back to the original question (and why answer something in 10 words if you can do it in 400) the cat sanctuary was something I backed into. My husband passed away in 2002. I was desperately lonely and I learned a long time ago, that the only way out of that kind of pain is to help someone or something else. For me, that was easy. Animals. Well, I got a cat because I had wanted one for some time and Floyd was allergic to them. So I got the wonderful Maine Coon no one wanted because he supposedly couldn’t be litter box trained. Well, that’s nonsense, I thought. I had him brought over 1000 miles to me, trained him and he turned out to be absolutely awesome.

It kind of grew from there. I became good friends with a wonderful woman who runs a cat rescue, about two hours from me. She was way overloaded so I took the overflow of the most undesirable, least wanted cats. If they could not be adopted for love or money, they came to me. And then I went to work on making them adoptable. I found a lot of fulfillment in that. I figure that we (meaning my friend, one of my daughters, and me) saved about 80 cats. My friend who I referred to has saved additional hundreds. I think we have made a difference.

I’ve seen a lot. Forms of abuse you can’t imagine. I have watched them fight and often die of distemper because of people who didn’t give their pets immunizations. I have watched entire litters of kittens die because of the conditions they were born in, because people won’t get them altered. I have tamed feral cats and I have coaxed ones who were terrified of people because of abuse and they have learned to love again. But I haven’t done anything myself; they did it. They gave me a chance and I was just there to be the one who made their path clear.

I had to stop with the Kittie Rehab center though due to health reasons - it is a LOT of work. So the sanctuary evolved out of that and I have the ones that are part of my heart and I couldn’t ever be without. They will never know abuse or loneliness again. So once again, my bed is covered with my pets and I am happy. (Great way to keep the power bill down - do you know how warm kitties are??)

What are three words that describe you?

Patient, Inquisitive, and Reflective

If you could change the world in one significant way, what would it be?

I would have people listen to each other. We all want the same things. Security, safety, good ways to raise our kids, love… people all want those things but they are so unattainable because no one listens to each other anymore. Ever caught yourself planning what you are going to say next when you are talking to someone? We all do. We need to not do that and really listen to what another person says and respond to what they said, not what we think they said.

I love that you read textbooks for fun. (When I was a kid I would sit for hours and read the dictionary.) Are there any particular subjects you enjoy reading about?

Literature is my big fav. I love literature. If you read literature you can learn anything about every subject. And there is an endless supply. Poetry, myths, stories, legends… it goes on and on. But I also enjoy comparative theology, psychology, earth science, ecology… gee, if it is in print, I want to read it. I just wish I had more time. (I use to cruise the dictionary too by the way - American Heritage is my favorite)

It’s apparent on your bio page that your Catholic faith is important to you. It seems a lot of people today struggle with needing ‘something to believe in.’ What has your faith given you, and what would you like to see for people who feel as though they are missing something in this area?

I can’t imagine living without faith. I have had my “dark nights of the soul,” and they are no fun, but to not have faith is unimaginable to me. I was raised that way and know no other way to be. I was not raised Catholic, and converted a little over 6 years ago. But I was raised in a Christian home and those values were instilled in me. I do not believe that a building can stand adequately without a strong cornerstone, and if you think of a person as an individual building, you have to ask what the cornerstone is. (That isn’t original - it’s a Biblical thing) Whatever your cornerstone is will determine what your life is.

I don’t believe you have to be Catholic in order to be “right.” There are many ways up the mountain, but the view is the same. So it is important that people understand that I don’t think I have a “corner on the truth.” This is the way that works for me. God is there whether you call him God, Jehovah, Allah, The Divine Intelligence, etc.

I do believe that if a person feels a need for this in their life, that is the Holy Spirit knocking on the door of their soul. It is so easy to answer it. It requires so little on our part. But it should not be ignored. If it is disregarded, over time, the knocking becomes quieter and quieter until we no longer hear it.

But a life without God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Mary, the saints, my rosary… can’t even imagine it.

Could you share a favorite childhood, or motherhood, memory with us?

My grandfather (the cow milking one *grin*) and his red gingham shirts, his pink plastic flamingoes in his garden, his love for collies and the painting that was in his den that now hangs over my bed. My mom and my high school graduation party at our house when Kent dumped the pizza upside down on her white carpet and she didn’t care (had to replace all the wall-to-wall in the house! White carpet - can you even imagine?) My dad, who passed away 6 years ago this spring, and his ’65 Ford Galaxy that had no reverse gear and didn’t have the first idea of what to do with a daughter but figured it out after awhile - I miss him a lot. My grandmother and the comforting smell of her Coty face powder (which I now use - a trip down memory lane every morning). There are so many. I have been very blessed.

I’ve been using ‘Daily Jots’ for inspiration long before b5 was lucky enough to acquire it. What was your inspiration for this site? Were you a quotations ‘collector’ before you started it?

A collector in the formal sense of notebooks and all of that? No, I just read them and kept them in my head. I have a lot of book collections. Lots and lots - quote collections as well as many other types of books that I grab quotes from as well. I believe that came from my mom who is a quote buff from way back. And I view quotes as she did. Collecting them is kind of worthless if they don’t serve a purpose and that purpose should be to make you think. That is why I tackled this blog differently (at least I hope differently) than other sites. I don’t want to rattle off a list of quotes and then just walk away. I want people to read them and think “outside the box.” Is there another way to look at something? Is there more to the thought than appears on the surface? Is the person who said or wrote this quote offering something that could become a part of your life? Could it benefit yourself or how you interact with others? Can it say something that has escaped you?

Quotes are snippets of philosophy. They intrigue me, challenge me, and in a way, take a snapshot of something I am feeling or experiencing. I hope I can bring that to others.

You’re living a dream that many people both equally yearn for and fear to try: being a full-time writer. What gave you the courage to take the plunge, and what would you say to other people who desperately wish they could do the same thing?

Do what you love and the money will follow. It seems to me that we spend many many hours working, and if you hate your work, well… that must be torture. I have had jobs I hated (and have round filed those in my memory) and ones I loved. When I took the step of writing fulltime, it was a matter of “necessity is the mother of invention.” I couldn’t work outside the home, not with my son’s needs and demands, so what to do? I decided to step out on the limb I had avoided - fear of failure and fear of success are both things that stop people from writing; just do it, as Nike says.

If someone wants to do follow their dream, all they need to do is evaluate and simplify. Evaluate your priorities first of all. Money is usually the reason people don’t follow their dreams and when you look at your budget, it is usually filled with things that are “wants,” rather than “needs.” If you can change that, you can change your income need and that is imperative to stepping out on faith. That is a lot of what simplifying is all about as well. The feeling of peace each night - you are doing what you love and care about, more than makes up for the lack of a new car or whatever. Being with those you love and doing what you love, is what life is all about - or should be, at any rate.

And last…what would you most want people to ‘get out’ of your blogs and other writings?

I want to make a difference. I want someone to read something I have written and come away thinking about it and have it impact them in some way, however small or large. I want to be someone who can change, for the better, someone else’s life. I want them to see me honoring God, my faith, my husband, my family, and hopefully find value in those things that will inspire or influence them in a positive manner. Who was it who said, (paraphrased) “I don’t want to lead, I just want to show others what I have learned.” Wise person.